INTRODUCTION TO DISTRESS TOLERANCE
One certainty in life is that we will encounter difficult situations periodically. Therapy tries to help individuals to overcome their current difficulties. But it also tries to impart skills that help individuals to get better and better at dealing with experiences of difficulty in general, so that future difficulties result in less suffering. Here I explore one set of skills that helps us to deal with difficulty, known as Distress Tolerance skills. With practice, Distress Tolerance skills help us to become more and more comfortable with discomfort. As we get better and better at sitting with discomfort, we often find that difficult circumstances are easier to overcome. Read more…

DISTRACTION
Distressing and painful experiences cannot always be avoided in life. And not every problem can be solved immediately. Therefore, it is helpful to learn and develop skills that help us to bear pain skillfully. The first skill we will explore is simple yet effective: distraction. Read more…

BETTER BREATHING
The stressful situations that our ancient ancestors encountered were generally episodic and terminated quickly. However, our modern stressors tend to be more chronic and prolonged. Unfortunately, our bodies were not designed to handle chronic stress, and don’t do well with it. Therefore, it is important for us modern humans to learn and apply skills to reduce and reverse the harmful effects of stress. Let’s start with better breathing. Read more…

RELAXING THE BODY
When we are going through a period of difficulty, most of us will observe that our bodies become more tense than normal. While this is part of the natural stress response, it can be exhausting and wear us down over time. Fortunately, there are many good ways to relax the body. And when we relax the body, the mind often follows. Read more…

CALMING THE MIND
When we encounter crises, dramatic biological changes occur in the brain and body. Survival circuitry in primitive parts of the brain takes over. While this “rapid response system” is helpful in some situations (like being chased by a lion), it is not so helpful in most modern circumstances. With our more sophisticated neurological systems offline, we lose our normal abilities to think clearly and reason calmly. We feel anxious and agitated, and experience more confusion, disorganization, and impaired problem-solving. Psychologists call this emotional hijacking. So how do we switch out of “survival mode” and back to our normal, calm state of mind? This article explores different evidence-based techniques. Read more…

GROUNDING
Grounding exercises are techniques that re-orient us back to the here-and-now of the present moment. Grounding exercises are particularly helpful when we are experiencing difficult future-thoughts (worries) or difficult past-thoughts (painful memories, regrets). They help extract us from our overwhelming and circular thought patterns and bring us back into the calm of the present moment. They help us to detach from our imaginative thinking and put us back into contact with reality. Read more…

MANTRAS
Find out how mantras can free us from “thought traps” and help us to overcome self-limiting thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Read more…

TALKING IT OUT
Difficult experiences have a way of destabilizing us. We become emotionally flooded and overwhelmed. We lose the ability to think clearly and logically. And our behavior becomes more impulsive and less in control. Fortunately, talking through our situation with someone else can help us to regain our bearings. This article explores why talking about our problems with others helps, and how to do it. Read more…

FREEWRITING
“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o’erwrought heart and bids it break…” William Shakespeare. Find out how a common exercise used by writers can help us to work through difficult thoughts and feelings. Read more…

EXERCISE
Exercise provides antidepressant effects comparable in magnitude to psychotherapy and psychiatric medication. It has also been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety, ADHD, and other common mental health conditions. Because of its low cost and lack of side effects, we would be wise to use physical activity on a regular basis and in times of stress. Read more…

GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK
America is a nation of hard-working people. Most historians trace this national character back to the Puritan pilgrims who arrived on the Mayflower and settled the early colonies — and who believed that hard work was the key to prosperity and salvation. While the dominance of religious Puritanism has long since disappeared, the Puritan work ethic remains alive and well in America today. And this, by and large, is a good thing. Unfortunately, the value of rest is not as well appreciated in America. Just as inhales and exhales are both important (one no more important than the other), hard work and rest are both important. The two must go hand-in-hand. One without the other becomes problematic. In America, we work very hard, but don’t always take the time we need to recover. And this may account for the high rates of stress-related conditions we see in our society, like anxiety and depression. Many of us need to get better at recognizing the signs that a break is needed and heed the call. We need to work on not-working. And while we may be initially uncomfortable with downtime — not sure what to “do” with ourselves when we are not-doing — we need to slow down anyway. We need to practice the art of resting. Read more…

WAITING OUT DIFFICULT SITUATIONS
How do we cope with difficult situations that do not respond to our efforts to resolve them? This article explores the practice of patience. Read more…

ASSEMBLING A TOOLKIT
Crisis often arrives when we least expect it. This can catch us off guard. In this startled state, we may have more difficulty generating strategies for healthy coping than usual. Fortunately, we can prepare for days like this. Read more…